English as a first language – FAIL

I have failed the English language.

In the past month, I have:

  • sent Somanna an email where I typed “your” instead of “you’re.” He caught it first.
  • commented on Facebook and wrote “want” instead of “won’t.” For all to witness.
  • said “paining” instead of “hurting.” This I directly blame on Somanna. He always says that in a mocking Indian accent. Poor grammar is no laughing matter.
  • Finally, I had to ask Somanna how to spell daughter. Because yes. I couldn’t f#$%ing figure out how to spell it!!

Maybe I should enroll in the Derek Zoolander center for kids who can’t read good.

Is this what middle age feels like?

It blows.



Filed under A Day In The Life, tacky, the drama queen, wtf mate

7 responses to “English as a first language – FAIL

  1. You could enroll in the DZ school if you wanted to learn how to do other things good, too. Also, at least you didn’t say “lighted”.

  2. Melanie

    my head is paining me right now! seriously, i heard that expression all the time in Namibia and it still makes me chuckle 🙂

  3. Oh yeah, I’ve also heard “my head is paining!” A LOT!!

  4. Erin

    But texting language is so hot right now…

    I love Zoolander.

    I think part of the breakdown comes from the need to instant/fast/hurried/in the moment. So many errors happen when writing gets hasty. And these dumb tiny iPhone key pads don’t help much either!

  5. After your trip this christmas, it’ll be wery interesting to hear you spell the words (said with the infamous indian head nod).

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