I’m not sure what it is exactly, but apparently I befuddle my family physician.
I recently went in for my annual exam and as expected, the doctor went through her standard checklists of medical history and lifestyle questions. You know those extensive questions about family medical history, surgical history, your cholesterol numbers, how often you exercise, blah, blah, blah.
And then she asked me these questions:
Q: How often do you drink?
A: Only occasionally.
Q: Have you ever drank?
A: Well sure, but I don’t do it habitually or excessively.
Q: How often per week?
A: Really more like once or twice a month. Maybe.
(Lord I feel so *LAME* typing that out. Note to self: you are young and child free, DRINK MORE.)
Q: Do you smoke?
Q: Have you ever smoked?
A: Tried it – sure, but nothing long-term.
Q: Have you ever done hard drugs?
Q: Are you Mormon?
I believe this was her polite way of saying “You are quite possibly the most boring patient I have ever had. Wow.”