I am a mean kitteh mama.
Poor little – well, not so little –
Garfield, errah Marshall goes through phases with his diet. Some days he does well. He leaves food in his bowl, chews slowly and whines very little.
And I feel like we’ve made progress.
Then other days, he constantly meows about how hungry he is and inhales all of his food in one big go.
And I feel like we’ve failed miserably.
It’s hard to learn portion control.
But that does not change the facts. And the fact is that Marshall has to lose some of that extra lovin. After months of merely sitting in front of the food cabinet and whining, he finally began trying to open the cabinet by sort of flicking the door open a bit. Naturally the door would swing back shut and he would sit dejected, before trying again. Eventually, after a period of trial and error that made me question his cat smarts, he finally figured out how to fully swing open the cabinet door.
Which meant I had a problem.
And being of frazzled and busy nature, I gave my problem a temporary and easy solution. I simply scooted our bar stool over in front of the cabinet door. For about four months. Which in retrospect, makes me question my human smarts.
Then one day, lo and behold, Somanna and I came home to find the remnants of a mega cat party. (We even think we saw some last minute partiers hightailing across our yard.) We walked inside our kitchen to the scene of the crime: the stool had been pushed back and the food cabinet broken into. And they didn’t just go after the food y’all. They went after the good stuff.
The Cat Nip.
Cat nip was everywhere! Cat nip, for those of you feline-less, is basically weed for cats. And like all good pot sessions, it left our kitties in a completely lethargic / semi-drunk state. It also gave them a good case of the munchies, hence explaining the ripped and empty treats bag that greeted us at the door. Other party evidence included some random patches of throw up, a mutilated cat food bag and general guilty avoidance of both the parental units and the crime scene.
Seeing as how, the kittehs could now break into the food cabinet with one bar stool in front, I doubled up my security efforts and placed the second bar stool right behind the first. A most annoying set up if there ever was one.
Don’t play innocent with me kitty. I’m on to you.
Unsurprisingly, this method got old, quick. Sometimes I’d forget to put the stools, one or both, back in front of the cabinet door. Leaving Marshall to think it was Buffet Wednesday or whatever. Not too mention, that asthetically speaking, it was ugly as sin.
And so I set out to implement a real solution. Ladies and Gents, Peaches & Curry are pleased to announce the arrival of their first child lock.
Isn’t she precious?
But she sure does work. We’re so proud.
One minor detail though: that child lock was a bee-yotch! to install. Seriously. If I had to do a whole kitchen full of those things – well, let’s just say it’s a very effective form of birth control because installing those things sucks!
In other kit-tay news, Freckles has a made new friend in the fireplace a la Finding Nemo style.
Not sure if you can see the slight outline of her reflection in the fireplace there, but Freckles just stares for hours at her twin. Sometimes she meows in what I’m certain is a mutually repetitive conversation of lavish compliments. “You are SO gorgeous!: No, you are so SO Gorgeous. Really!” Although, like all good sisters, occasionally they get into it with each other. Which is hysterical to watch.
Freckles recent behavior does make me wonder if she’s getting a little nutty in her more mature years. Homegirl likes to go randomly crazy on inanimate objects. Take this stool for example.
She gets that crazy look in her eye and then starts attacking the X bar with all four legs. Or she starts darting her head in and out of the openings like some weird cat version of hungry hippos.
Then again, maybe it’s just delusional behavior as a result of starvation. I’m not really sure.
Either way, it’s highly entertaining.