Incredible India: Preface

Allegedly, Somanna and I went to India. Personally, I do not believe it. But we have about 1100 pictures and several first hand witnesses to dispute our theory, so I’m trying to keep quiet.

Supposedly, we were there for two weeks. But there again, I disagree as it felt more like 48 hours and ssshzam! we’re already back at work before you could even snap a token cheesy tourist photo. Unfortunately, the airlines put a big fat hole in this argument, what with their anal retentive penchant for dates on ticket stubs and all. Oh and by the way, as for returning to work, IT SUCKS BEYOND HUMAN COMPREHENSION. Nope, not bitter at all that I lack Paris Hilton’s trust fund.

And if hypothetically, I were to try to blog about India, well I might just experience some major writer’s block. Because um, India is, like a lot of stuff rolled into one big fat dosa. So since the creativity drums are rather quiet for the moment, let’s start with the facts. The alleged, supposed, hypothetical facts. We can all argue about them later in the comments section.

(To maximize this learning experience, please read the following facts in your best monotone Bueller voice. Thank you in advance for your cooperation.)

India is a country in Southern Asia.
It is the seventh largest country in the world.
India is a peninsula which means water surrounds 3 sides: The Bay of Bengal to the East, The Arabian Sea to the West and the Indian Ocean to the South.
India borders six countries: Pakistan, China, Nepal, Bangladesh, Bhutan, and Myanmar.
India has the second largest population after China, with 1.15 billion people and is expected to surpass China’s population in 2025.

Ok, I’m bored. Let’s jazz it up a bit.

India is a country in Southern Asia. = SCORE!! I’ve been to Asia! 3 down and 3 continents to go! (I do not plan on visiting an Antarctica, unless someone else pays for it. Too friggin cold to put my money towards it. I do however accept charitable donations. Please visit http://www.beth’stravelfund.org for more information.)
It is the seventh largest country in the world. =Um, HELLO it is a subcontinent after all.
India is a peninsula which means water surrounds 3 sides. = Oh yes, I am the Elite Champion of the Edgewood Elementary Geography Bowl! Two years in a row baby!!
India has six neighbors. = but gets along with about half of them. Meow!
India has the second largest population after China, with 1.15 billion people and is expected to surpass China’s population in 2025. = B*tch is C.R.O.W.D.E.D.

So now that you have had your introductory social studies lesson, let’s get down to specifics. Our itinerary took us from Raleigh, to Philadelphia to Frankfurt, Germany (Auf wiedersehen!) to Bengaluru, IN-DEE_YAA. Total travel time about 26 hours -ish. Our trip there was rather dull. However, I can’t say the same for the morning of our flight.

Folks, one of the benefits of committed partnership is that you rub off your good habits on your partner. You inspire them to make changes for the better and vice versa. Aww.

One of the disadvantages of committed partnership is that you also rub off your bad habits on your partner. For example, procrastination. Rather than procrastinate this point with endless excuses about how I work better under pressure dammit, I will be proactive and admit the following:
Hello, my name is Beth and I am a chronic procrastinator. I am also a last-minute packer.

Somanna is not a procrastinator nor a last-minute packer. At least he wasn’t before me. Poor fellow, I think I’ve ruined him. Yes, that was us first calmly, then frantically, packing the morning of our big trip because why? Because I had to watch The Hangover and do laundry the night before.
Because I hadn’t done laundry before that due to my chronic procrastinitis.
Because I rock like that.

Also, my strange compulsion to clean our house very thoroughly impeded our packing the night before. That is one manifestation of my OCD. My OCD further manifested through the very time-consuming, but emotionally necessary cleaning and organizing of my refrigerator, Facebook account and email inbox.(s). Because should I die before my return, at least my eternal soul can rest knowing that my refrigerator harbors no expired mustard and my email, no unfinished correspondence.

Somanna patiently tolerated my shenanigans until around 11:00 am on Friday. But then he started to get antsy and I’m fairly sure that my indecisiveness over which jewelery to pack sent him over the edge. So by the time we left the house at Noon for our 1:30 p.m. international flight, (The airport is about 20 minutes away, so you do the math.) Somanna was not feeling Lady Gaga in the car. Or me for that matter. I felt Bad Romance was an appropriate soundtrack for the ahem, tense car ride. He preferred angry silence. Ahh marital Bliss, I tell you 😉

In all honesty, I really wasn’t too worried because a. ) the weather gods were in our favor that weekend, b.) it is only the Raleigh airport after all and c.) the first leg of our trip was only to Philly.

Despite how much longer Somanna has been traveling than me, he gets waaayyyy more nervous about flying, which always surprises me. We each have our roles. Somanna = grumpy old man. Beth = the giddy puppy bouncing off the walls saying “YAAYYY!! We’re going on a TRIP and it will be so much fun and I *justcan’twait* and I love you so much. Are we there yet? Oooh look at that, Airplanes! I bet they go so fast!! I”M SO EXCITED!! Ooh look pretty suitcases! I want one. Let’s go look in this shop! Oooh this shop has lots of pretty, GLOSSY magazines and CANDY! This trip is gonna be so AWESOME! Are we there yet? Huh? Are you excited yet? I’m excited! Why aren’t you excited? Because I’m super excited BECAUSE WE”RE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN!!!!!”

I really am fun to travel with, promise.

I have since learned (read: have been emphatically told) that Somanna cannot handle both trip induced hypomania and last-minute packing mania. He would prefer a more leisurely, less harried approach to air travel. He would also like me to take Ritalin before we go overseas again. I have duly noted this. I have also scheduled an appointment with my doctor.

So despite the mini-drama of our morning, we got to the airport just fine, with time to spare, (not kill exactly, but there was time to spare) and began our 26 ish hours of travel. Which is really quite boring, so I won’t dwell on it except to say that we made it to Bengaluru (Bangalore) safely around 1:30 am Sunday morning India time. And thus kicked off our trip for realz.

Which we’ll cover in Chapter 1!

But to keep you hungry for more (and me somewhat organized) here are some highlights of our trip:
hanging out with the family
elephants, tigers and spiders, oh my!
shopping- we hope you like choice
Transportation & Urban planning-Safety First Batman!
Duality & Globalization: My liberal arts education put to use in the form of a blog…for which I get paid nothing. How appropriate.

So those are just some of the highlights. I know everyone has been very patient and are excited to hear about our trip. That means alot, thank you.  It does take time to put posts together. Sorry about that. Also, I am striving to be sensitive on how I portray India, its people and Somanna’s family, so these posts may take a bit longer.
Thanks for being patient with us. Just as I promised Somanna that I would not pack last-minute anymore, I promise to you dear reader not to procrastinate on the blog!