Twitter Dee Dee and Twitter Dah Dah

I don’t do Twitter. But if I did, here are my hypothetical tweets or twits (or whatever they’re called…)

  • Eating salads proves to be inherently messy and I’m getting lazier with my salad manners. Should I care about the various bits of leaves and carrots dangling from my mouth while in the presence of co-workers?
  • Why are Jon & Kate Plus Crazy on the cover of every magazine? I am tired of them. And so is the rest of America.
  • Remember the Bane of My Existence? Well it has returned. With a vengeance! But I shall conquer it once more! Because I am a woman in possession of two opposable thumbs, so hear me roar!
  • I recently met someone who flat out refuses to read. Anything. No magazines, newspapers, Internet, blogs, Playboy, books, books on tape, CD covers. Nothing, Nada, ZERO. I asked “Are you a vacation reader?” No. “Are you a once in a blue moon reader?” Never. “Are you a closet reader?” The door is wide open and there ain’t no shelves for books. He said “I don’t read. Period. I don’t find it beneficial.” To which I thought, thank ya Jesus I live in a republic and not a straight out democracy. Because
  • Summertime makes me very happy. VERY happy. It’s all the vitamin D. I could never overdose on it.
  • Twitter really suits the random minded (like myself) or the bored …(also …like myself.) This is why it must be avoided. I draw the line at you Twitter. But at least it will give Ashton Kutcher and me something to talk about now besides Oprah.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend Yall!


1 Comment

Filed under the drama queen

One response to “Twitter Dee Dee and Twitter Dah Dah

  1. Brittany

    I can’t believe that person doesn’t read. Luckily we can badmouth them all day via the Internet and he/she will never know…see, you should read if only to make sure people aren’t writing shit about you. ?!?!?! HOW DO YOU NOT READ?!

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